Star Wars Journals: Nathaniels Tale
by mark88
Summary: The Journal of Nathaniel Illuminoi, a tale that goes down in Jedi folklore.
1. Hidden Talent

Authors Note: This was inspired by watching Star Wars Episode III, which I might add, is an awesome film. Any similarities between this story and the film are down to that.

Pronunciation:

Jaida is pronounced Jayda.

Shinobi is pronounced Shin-o-bai

Shmi-Gol is pronounced Smee-Gol

Malachi is pronounced Malachai.

Yuth is pronounced Youth.

Enough from me, on to the story, enjoy.

Star Wars Journals: Nathaniel's Tale

Chapter 1: Hidden Talent

Hi, I'm Nathaniel. I can't tell you where I am right now, there are people out there who would kill to know where I am, and who would try to kill me if they found me. My life has been a tumultuous collection of disasters. I'd be a fool to pretend to be happy with it, and to be quite frank I'm disgusted at some of the things I've done. I've killed, maimed and tortured, all because I thought it was right at the time.

Now, I'm happier than I've ever been. But there's always something niggling inside my head, worried that my old life will somehow catch up on me.

Some days ago I took the decision to write my story down, just in case they do catch up with me and kill me, then they will know the truth, and perhaps then, only then, can I truly be at rest.

Here is my tale; I'll start at the very beginning, when the people who would ruin my life entered it for the first time…

_The Council were in conference. The members sat in their red seats, surrounding the cloaked female standing in the centre. This woman was tall, and had a peaceful yet powerful aura about her. From her strangely beautiful face to her feet, hidden behind her flowing brown cloak, her appearance spoke of a woman who was extremely wise, and very powerful. She addressed the members of the Council, but her attention was focussed on the diminutive green creature seated in front of her, and the coloured man in the next chair._

"_Masters," she spoke in an unusually deep voice, "I have encountered a strong youngling. The Force is concentrated around his body. I wish to bring him before you to be tested and trained." The green being rubbed his chin with his 3 fingered hands contemplatively. He turned his head, with two long pointed ears, and looked at the well-built coloured man beside him. _

"_What think you, Master Windu?" said Yoda in his croaky voice._

"_As you well know, Master Jaida," spoke Mace Windu to the woman, "the council opens its arms to any new Jedi. You have our permission to bring this boy before us."_

_Master Jaida bowed to the Council,_

"_Thank you Master's, I will proceed to fetch him immediately. May the Force be with you." She turned on her heal and left._

"I'm looking for Nathaniel Illuminoi." The figure standing at the door to my house spoke to my mother in a peculiarly deep voice. My mum, bless her, took up a defensive pose, as all mothers would to protect their children. I was peeking around the threshold of our kitchen, only my forehead and eyes visible as I stared with a mixture of apprehension and fear at the strange figure, cloaked in an earthy brown.

"Why?" She questioned stubbornly, not trusting this stranger, "What do you want with him?" The figure gave a chuckle, though I couldn't quite see what was funny. The tall visitor pulled back her hood and revealed her face. Her skin looked smooth and was lightly browned, her handsome features telling of one who has lived through many battles, her entrancing blue eyes telling of one who had seen too much. She pulled back her cloak to reveal the weapon, holstered at her waist, a lightsaber.

She was a Jedi…well then what the hell did she want with me? She spoke again,

"You misunderstand me. I am a Jedi Knight, my name is Jaida, and I've come to collect him. He is to be trained as a Jedi." She turned her face round and looked directly at me, immediately knowing who I was. I couldn't believe it, me, trained as a Jedi. It was the dream of all my friends, me included, to become a Jedi; the mysterious tales surrounding their existence were to enthralling for us not to. I slipped sheepishly from behind the door frame and spoke up,

"Hi, I am Nathaniel." my small voice sounded weak and feeble next to her deep, strong tones. I extended my little hand shakily; Jaida reached out and shook it, her light brown skin in contrast to my pale white.

My mum, still not convinced, voiced her concerns,

"But…but he's only six years old, how will he be able to cope on his own?"

"He will not be alone," responded Jaida, "I will take him to the Jedi Temple, where he will live, be trained and his every need will be catered for until he is sixteen, when a Knight may take him on as a Padawan." My mother's resolve was weakening; she was running out of arguments. I was all she had, I was her only child and since my father had been murdered by an assassin (he had been a very prominent business man, very influential) almost six years ago, I was all my mother had to live for, and now she was losing me.

"Mum," I said nervously, biting my bottom lip to fight back the tears welling up in my young eyes, "don't worry, I'll come back and see you." My mum broke down, tears streaming down her face, sobs shaking her weakened body. She wrapped her loving arms around me, and then my defences shattered and tears crept down my cheeks leaving a wet, glistening path as they went. I hugged my mum back, my emotions causing turmoil in my head.

I sat in the shuttle, looking back out the window at my house, disappearing into the distance. I swivelled in my seat, trying getting comfortable, trying in vain to hide my anxiety as the shuttle ferried is across Coruscant. The decision to leave my mum had been a hard one to make; thinking about the fact that I was leaving her on her own made me want to burst into tears. Even now, when there was no turning back, I was wondering whether I had done the right thing, but I had to…as soon as Master Jaida had told me I was to become a Jedi, I had been filled with a sense of fulfilment, a sense of longing, knowing that this was what I was supposed to do. I had been inexplicably drawn into leaving.

The shuttle rounded a building and there it was, my home for the next ten years of my life, the Jedi Temple, its four external pillars surrounding the central tower, glinting in the dimming light, beckoning me closer. I was struck with a sense of awe, suddenly dumb, unable to find anything to say. I turned to the Jedi woman sitting next to me, taking a closer look at her. She was strangely beautiful, her darkened skin highlighting her deep eyes, full of wisdom. Her handsome features were studying me with a pensive look. She spoke to me for the first time on the shuttle, her rich tones lulling my nervousness,

"Nathaniel, learning to be a Jedi is not straightforward. It is hard and you will need to be completely focussed. Even if you succeed, the life is not easy either. The universe is a cruel place, full of evil and corruption. But, remember this, keep control of your emotions, focus and feel the force, and you will go far." She smiled at me and patted my head,

"Good luck." She said. The door to the shuttle opened and I realised that we had arrived. She stood up and left the shuttle, onto the landing platform. I followed her up to the doors of the great Temple. They slid open automatically with a mechanical hiss and we walked through them. A droid rolled up to us and spoke to Master Jaida after pausing a moment to scan her,

"Welcome Master Jaida," it said in a robotic voice. Master Jaida barely even acknowledged the droid, just issued it instructions,

"Please escort this young boy to the Council chambers."

"It would be my pleasure," replied the robot, "follow me please…"

"Nathaniel," I said, interpreting its uncertainty, "Nathaniel Illuminoi."

"Very good, please follow me, young sir."

I stood before the members of the Jedi Council, alone. My concentration was on the rectangular screen facing away from me, held in the hand of the man who had introduced himself as Jedi Master Mace Windu. The idea here was ridiculous; I was supposed to be able to tell him what was on the screen, without being able to see it! How was I supposed to do that, without any training? Impossible! I struggled with the butterflies flittering about in my stomach, trying not to look too nervous. I closed my eyes,

"_But, remember this, keep control of your emotions, focus and feel the force, and you will go far." _Master Jaida's words came back to me in a flash. I fought back my nerves, burying them in a far corner of my mind and regained my composure. I opened my eyes and instantly knew what was hidden from me.

"A lightsaber." I said confidently. Master Windu gave a nod and I could almost feel the image change.

"A speeder." I thought, my self-belief growing.

And so it went on. I passed the test, apparently. Master Yoda had told me that I would be shown to my dormitory and would begin my training in the morning. I had left the council chambers and a droid (the same one from the door, I think, all these droids look and sound identical to me) had taken me through the mass of corridors to my dormitory. It was a large room with perhaps ten bunks in it. The droid had left me at the door, and I was left to find my own bed. All were occupied bar one in the back corner, which I claimed as my own. The boys in the other bunks looked about my age, some possibly a couple of years older. I slipped out of my woollen top and clambered into my pod like bunk, and pulled the thin scarlet sheets over my naked torso. I soon fell into a deep sleep, where I dreamt of my mother, and the adventures tomorrow could bring.

When I awoke the next morning, I was surrounded to people. The others in my dormitory had woken up with a stranger in their room, and, had naturally come to investigate. I looked around; there were many different species in here, I was the only human as far as I could see. Everyone was staring at me as if I was some spectacle at an Intergalactic Zoo. The boy leaning against my bunk, however, was glaring at me with a look of barely concealed contempt. Choosing to ignore this, I swung my legs over the side of the bunk, preparing to meet everyone. As soon as my feet hit the cold stone floor, the burly boy, who looked about eight years old, was standing in front of me, arms folded in an aggressive stance. His pale green skin reeked of bad attitude and his dark brown eyes burned with fiery anger. He raised his right hand, and, using the middle of his three stumpy green fingers, prodded me hard in the chest, forcing me onto my back in my bunk. I rubbed the point where he had pushed me as he started speaking in a loud bullish voice,

"I bet you think you're better than all us," he said indignantly, sweeping an arm, indicating everyone else, "being brought in by a Knight." He didn't say this as a question, more as a fact which he thought he already knew. I tried to reply, to set the record straight

"Em…no…I-" My reply was cut off by the bully,

"Well let me tell you something, punk. Round here, I'm in charge. Round here, I'm the oldest, I'm the smartest. You will respect me." Obviously he was used to getting his own way and didn't want that to change. I decided that he was the best of this class and this had probably made him arrogant, making him think he was better, and above everyone else.

"O…ok then," I responded hesitantly, "and you are?" There was an audible, sharp intake of breath from his audience, clearly no one talked back to him. The anger in his eyes deepened and he raised his left hand, curling his green fingers into a fist, and brought it crashing down into my stomach. All the air was forced from my lungs and my stomach felt like it had been turned into mush. I was doubled up with pain, helplessly gasping for a breath. The bully sneered at me and turned away,

"That ought to teach him."

I lay in my bunk, nursing my aching stomach until everyone began to leave, heading for the morning class. I stood up, teetering as I attempted to stand up straight, wincing as the muscles in my abdomen complained. I followed the class out of the doors and we headed to a corridor directly opposite our dorm. I hung back, hoping someone would talk to me, but no one did. They all gave me curious and sceptical glances. We reached the class room and I noticed another group of kids outside the door. They were the girls. In total there were about 25 people outside. I lingered at the back, uncertain of myself. The girls were giving me curious glances as their friends from the boy's dormitory related the events surrounding my arrival. There was a curious clicking behind us and everyone turned, suddenly silenced. Master Yoda had arrived, his wooden walking stick supporting his movements, clicking against the floor as he walked. He greeted us in a friendly manner,

"Good morning younglings." He opened the doors in front of us and let us in. My training was about to begin.

The class was a round room, with windows spanning the height of the walls. The floor was carpeted a deep red, with a lighter red in a circle at the centre. Master Yoda demanded attention with his mere presence, so there was no need to silence the class before he spoke,

"Younglings," he croaked, "a new friend among us, we have," everyone turned to look at me and I felt the heat rising in my cheeks as they flushed, "Nathaniel, he is. Make him welcome, I'm sure you will." Yoda directed us over towards a pile of objects in the corner.

"Pair up please," said Yoda, "Moving the object with the force, an essential skill for a Jedi it is. Practice this, you will." My heart sank, no one would want to be my partner. To my surprise, one of the girls made her way straight towards me. She was human, like me, about my age, quite small, with light brown hair falling down to her shoulders. She smiled at me as she approached, which lit up her pretty features and sparkling hazel eyes.

"Hi," she said in a sweet voice, "I'm Shinobi." She extended her small hand and I shook it, grateful for her forwardness. I repeated my name to her and we went to choose an object to practice on. We picked an ordinary, deep brown box and took it over to a corner to practice on. We started talking again,

"I heard what happened this morning, are you ok?" She asked concernedly

"Yea, I'm fine, a bit sore but fine, who was he?"

"That was Shmi-Gol."

"Ok, and what's his problem with me?" This had been puzzling me all morning.

"Well, he's the most powerful in this class, and, 'cos you were brought in by a Jedi Knight, it stands to be said that you are pretty powerful too… I think he feels threatened by you." She smiled at me in what looked like admiration. I was glad of someone to talk to. I liked Shinobi; it was good to feel like I had made a friend. We turned our attention back to the block and I attempted to move it.

"Remember younglings," Master Yoda preached as he walked amongst us, making sure we were all coping, "It matters not the size of the object."

I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the box, wondering how I was supposed to do this without any help. I willed the box to move, concentrating my mind on it. I peeked out through my left eye, barely opening it. The box was still where it had been thirty seconds ago. I frowned, but I hadn't really expected to get anywhere first time round.

Concentrating again I extended my hands towards the box and concentrated. Still unsure what I was supposed to do, I imagined the box lifting off the ground. Again, the box stayed where it was. I turned around to find Shinobi, to offer her a shot, and caught site of Shmi-Gol and some friends openly laughing at my vain attempts to move the object. Catching me looking, Shmi-Gol imitated my efforts, exaggerating my pose and the look of intense concentration I had been wearing (I don't concentrate with my tongue poking out from between my lips!). He dropped the imitation and effortlessly lifted his cylinder off the ground. Anger billowing up inside me I turned around again to find Shinobi, also looking at Shmi-Gol, a look of intense disgust disfiguring her pretty face.

Master Yoda glided past and spoke to me,

"The box, you must feel. Its particles, you must move."

I acknowledged his advice, but allowed Shinobi to take my place. She focussed on the box, her brow furrowing in meditation. The box began to shake, before unsteadily lifting off the ground a few inches. It steadied itself and lowered to the ground again. I turned to Shinobi, grinning, to see a look of flushed contentment on her face.

"I've never been able to do that before," she beamed, "you must be a good luck charm."

Spurred on by her success, I felt ready for another go. I closed my eyes and focussed upon the box, trying to follow Master Yoda's help. I could sense the particles that the box was composed of. I willed them to move, manipulating the Force. Shakily, the box lifted off the ground, floating a few inches off the floor. Noticing this progress by glancing out of my eyes, I lost my concentration for a split-second and the box tumbled back to the floor with a dull thud. I was filled with a sense of immense pride as Master Yoda passed me again and congratulated me.

The rest of the lesson passed swiftly. By the end of it, I was able to levitate the box confidently and move it through the air a little bit. The class filed out of the room after Master Yoda had dismissed us for lunch. I walked next to Shinobi and some of her friends how were introduced as Malachi (a boy from the bunk opposite me) and Yuth (a girl with the same features as Master Yoda). At lunch I sat with Shinobi and her friends. She ensured that I was included in the conversation for which I was thankful, as I got to know Malachi and Yuth. Malachi was a small boy with a red face and hair which was split in two after rising off his head, each tendril falling down either side of his face. The hair was white, hoped with black. Yuth looked almost the same as Master Yoda apart from her youth and energy that shone from every pore of her green face and pointed ears. I found Shinobi to be a tantalising person, full of exciting stories and tales. I was surprised at how well we got along. I found talking to her easy; I didn't feel uncomfortable at all. Her hazel eyes sparkled as she spoke to us and countless times I found myself getting lost in their deep and dazzling colour.

After lunch we headed through the corridors to another classroom where we were greeted by Master Windu. This class was History of the Force. We leaned about the Jedi in the previous centuries and their exploits which led to the extinction of the Sith (the mortal enemies of the Jedi). I was seated between Shinobi and Malachi. Yuth was on Malachi's other side. The classroom was stuffy and quite small and, despite my best efforts, I found my attention slipping as the heat tried to coax me into falling asleep. After a couple of hours in the warmth, we were dismissed for the day.

The rest of the daylight was spent giving me a tour of the rest of the Temple. Shinobi, Yuth and Malachi made good guides, telling me the do's and don'ts and recounting their escapades around each area. I was shown the dorms for the older kids, the teenagers. I was told to avoid this area, as the teenagers tended to be moody. I was warned that the Padawan trials were in two days and everyone had the day off to watch. This made the teenagers more cantankerous then normal. As we had been lingering outside the senior dorm, Shmi-Gol had appeared a corner, flanked by his cronies. The gang had stopped at us and were getting kicks out of threatening us and name-calling. Malachi's wise-cracking mouth wasn't doing us any favours either, and, before their threats progressed from empty to full, a disgruntled teenager had appeared, irritated that his studies had been interrupted by the commotion. His cropped dirty blonde hair sat on top of his slightly spotty face, wearing a tight fitting white tunic, fastened around his waist by a thick brown belt. He quickly told Shmi-Gol and company to clear off, he asked us if we were ok and then introduced himself as Obi-Wan-Kenobi.

"Ok, it's nice to meet you all, but do you mind…" His voice had trailed off, a flicker of anxiety passing across his face as he remembered the upcoming trials. We took the hint, quickly thanked him and scrammed.

They then showed me the library, where I was allowed to go, though was warned against it as Shmi-Gol and his gang liked to hang about here, and Malachi donned an angry grimace as he narrated the time when he was thrown out by the librarian for losing his temper with Shmi-Gol (Shmi-Gol had been openly bad-mouthing Malachi, Yuth and Shinobi within earshot of a frustrated Malachi).

When I returned to the dorm that night with Malachi, we headed straight to our bunks, discussing the days lessons. Shmi-Gol and some friends returned soon after, and I distinctly heard one of his friends say (deliberately being audible) "how hopeless that new kid was". I ignored the comment, not wanting a repeat of this mornings thumping. I lay down in bed and thought about my day. I had learned a lot and made some friends, I had enjoyed it (the morning excluded). I found myself feeling excited about the upcoming Padawan trials, watching them would be a great experience. I could see myself in ten years time, sixteen years old and preparing to take the Padawan trials, just like the teenagers living in another part of the Temple, in hope of becoming Apprentice to someone, someone like Master Jaida. If I do become a Padawan, I thought to myself, I hope Master Jaida is my master, she seems nice enough. Ruminating on these thought I drifted away into a deep and peaceful sleep.

There was no crowd to greet me when I woke up the next morning. However, I noticed Shmi-Gol sniggering when he looked at me. With an annoyed frown I wondered why he had been laughing. Malachi was already up and he told me that I might want to go and wash my face. Sense of dread rising I walked to the toilets and looked in a mirror. To my disgust, Shmi-Gol (or one of his cronies, I doubted if he was brave enough to do it himself) had covered my face in a filthy black foam. I quickly washed it off my face, revealing my pale skin underneath. I left the bathroom and got dressed with the rest of the boys.

After breakfast, we went back to the same classroom we had been in yesterday morning. Master Yoda was again taking the class and gathered us round to tell us we would be doing some lightsaber practice today. He sent one of the boys to a hidden cupboard in the wall and practice weapons were brought out. Also, metallic spheres were brought out, along with strange looking face masks. The practice lightsabers were distributed amongst the pupils, the spheres hovered in front of us, one per person and we were told to put the masks on. We found a space on the floor to practice, Shinobi beside me and, much to my annoyance, Shmi-Gol behind me. I slipped my mask over my face, it was pitch black inside. I couldn't see anything. Master Yoda was speaking,

"The Force you must feel," he taught, "not to trust your eyes, you must learn." I extended my lightsaber, holding it in the only way that felt right, with my right hand gripping the top of the handle, my left underneath it. The glowing blade slid out with a hum. The hum of lightsabers filled the room as my classmates prepared. I readied my blade and waited. The darkness surrounding me was disconcerting, my eyes complaining at their inability to see the hidden dangers. I began to feel very claustrophobic and panicky. Suddenly, I gasped as a sharp stinging shot through my left knee and I felt the shock travel through the rest of my body.

"Release your fear," called Yoda, "focussed, you must be." I steadied myself again and tried to concentrate, waiting to feel something. Upon a sudden instinct I swung my sword to the right as I was struck again by the sphere. But, I had made progress; I had known where the blow was going to fall. Confidence growing I faced my invisible opponent.

Several shocks later, I had made no more progress. I could sense the shots coming, but not quick enough. My body was sore from the persistent jolts and my arms were tiring. I prepared myself again, using my entire mind to focus, I could sense the sphere, waiting to attack me. Still I waited. I moved fast, thrusting my lightsaber down to cover my right knee. My blade shuddered as it absorbed the energy from the bullet. I had done it. Excited I readied myself once more, quickly blocking a shot aimed at my chest before swinging the blade to defend against another two attacks aimed at my left leg and shoulder. Triumphant, I was beaming into the face mask; though no-one could see me. Suddenly, I sensed an assault from the rear. I didn't even pause to think about what it might be; I just spun my lightsaber behind my head and felt a shock travel along the blade as another lightsaber connected with mine. I shrugged the blow off, throwing the other blade to the side.

I quickly pulled my face mask off and turned to see what had happened. Shmi-Gol was there, his face flushing with embarrassment and anger, having hit the floor hard after I had thrown off his blade.

"Nice try." I said with a satisfied grin. Yoda was there in a flash, demanding an explanation. Shmi-Gol immediately told Yoda that he had slipped and fallen forward. I didn't bother arguing, firstly because for all I knew he hadn't attacked me purposefully, and secondly I didn't want to cause trouble. Yoda congratulated us on our progress and dismissed us.

After lunch we attended Astrology lesson. This was taught by Master Windu again. He taught us how to navigate our way through the 3D star maps contained inside tiny see-through spheres. This lesson I found more interesting than our History class yesterday. After another couple of hours, remembering star names and making notes on the sectors of the universe, we were dismissed for our free time again. I spent it with my friends, and we wandered aimlessly around the Temple chattering about everything and anything. At the end of the day we went our separate ways, and Malachi and I spent the rest of the night in our dormitory, discussing tomorrow's trials. I was eagerly anticipating these now, as it would give me an idea of the standard expected. Shmi-Gol and his posse appeared later, but said nothing. Indeed, Shmi-Gol seemed quite distracted and subdued, probably still carrying a bruised pride and smarting buttocks. The thought gave me a sense of grim contentment as I remembered the crippling pain his fist had caused me yesterday morning.

I lay back in my bed, hands folded beneath my head. Slowly, the rest of the boys fell asleep and an unnatural hush fell across the dorm. I closed my eyes and let my thoughts wander from Shmi-Gol to the trials tomorrow, from my lessons to my mum. I felt a pang of guilt, remembering that I hadn't thought of her since I had arrived here yesterday, though I consoled myself by telling myself that I had been to busy to do so. I eventually fell into an uneasy sleep, where I dreamt of my mum.

The next morning a buzzing excitement had descended like a storm cloud upon the Temple. We all awoke early, quickly got dressed to go and watch the arrival of the Jedi Knights from across the galaxies. Malachi and I met Shinobi and Yuth, and we headed to the entrance. We looked on in awe as a multitude of Jedi Knights arrived one by one. There were only two humans amongst them, and Yuth told me that they were Master Qui-Gon-Jin and of course I already knew Master Jaida. When she arrived I felt a sense of dignity, knowing that this impressive woman, arriving with the elite of the Jedi, had handpicked me, and had arrived personally to pick me up. She caught my eye and gave me a small smile, which I returned.

We followed the Knights through to an immense auditorium. The vast room was rectangular with circular ends; its mighty stone walls looked shiny and new. From some far off corner of the hall, a band played an up-beat fanfare which floated and echoed as it traversed the gulf of space. Stands had been set up, surrounding a square arena, the tallest of which was decorated with flowing banners which seemed to change colour every time you looked. In this stand sat the members of the council and the Jedi Knights who had made the arduous journey back to the temple. About twenty of the would-be-Padawan were lined up around the arena, they kept shifting their weight from foot to foot, unable to hide their nerves. Their eyes were casting nervy glances up towards their would-be-Masters, and then darting down towards the red mat on the floor.

The younger children filed in to the hall, everyone as dumbstruck with awe as the next, the enormity of the place overwhelming them. Once they overcame their shock, they made their way to the remaining three stands surrounding the arena. After taking in the breathtaking site, I followed Shinobi, Malachi and Yuth towards the stands. We filed into some seats, four rows from the front of the stand along one side of the square. After we had sat down, I glanced across the row of anxious teens. I found Obi-Wan-Kenobi, he was talking to a tall, blue-skinned friend of his, his hands fidgeting with each other.

The hall filled quickly, and, once it was full, Master Yoda stood up and raised his hand for silence. Instantaneously, he had the rapt attention of every person in the vast auditorium.

"To the trials," he croaked, "I welcome you all. Our gratitude, I extend to the many Jedi Knights who have arrived." A brief round of applause ensued. Yoda raised his hands to the ceiling and all eyes followed, and for the first time I noticed a cauldron like object floating there. It had three shining metal feet and a transparent body, inside were about twenty spheres, one for each candidate I surmised, which were spinning around furiously. Each sphere was similarly coloured, a sort of shimmering, glittery blue. The cauldron began to gradually descend towards the centre of the arena floor, stopping parallel to the stand with the Jedi Knights. Yoda was spinning his left hand round and round, mixing the spheres up. Master Windu stood up and addressed the focused crowd,

"Each sphere contains a name of one candidate. Two will be drawn at a time. When your name gets called," he turned to face the teenagers, a few of whom were looking positively terrified now, their faces pale, mouths clamped shut, "kindly step forward to dual your opponent. The lightsabers are set to stun. You may use any means suitable of a Jedi Warrior to defeat your opponent. Good luck to you all, let the trials begin."

He sat down again, his beady eyes fixed upon the cauldron. One of the Knights stood up, of the same species as Shmi-Gol, and extended one hand towards the cauldron. One of the spheres froze in the cauldron, and began to float, suddenly glowing a fiery orange. It rose above the lip of the cauldron and imploded, leaving a name written in flames, hovering in the air. Marl-Ti-Xeno, the name glowed for a few seconds, before extinguishing itself. One of the candidates, Obi-Wan-Kenobi's friend, recognised his name and stepped forward, face ashen. He summoned a lightsaber to him, the sword flying through the air and landing lightly in his hand. The Knight reclaimed his seat and another stood up, Master Jaida this time. She stretched out her arm and another name appeared, the fiery letters sending flickers of light across the room. Tir-Axel. A female stepped forward and summoned her weapon. The spheres stopped spinning and the cauldron raised itself to the roof again. The teenagers faced each other, glaring defiance into each others eyes.

There was a hum as their blades slid to full length and then they dove at each other, blades clashing as they met. It was the fastest sword fight I'd ever witnessed, each Jedi determined to succeed in impressing their peers. Each body was spinning, weapons swinging through the air, sparks flying as the fighters blocked, parried and then launched a ferocious attack. I hadn't blinked since the duel started, afraid of missing something vital. The fighters clashed off each other and there was a stand-off, the warriors circling each other, searching for a chink in the impenetrable defences of their opponent, whilst trying to catch their breath. They started again, blades whirring through the air. Marl-Ti-Xeno swung his blade to the left as Tir-Axel attacked to the right, the lightsabers struck flesh. The fighters were thrown in opposite directions, landing hard on the mat before rolling back onto their feet, tunics singed and smoking, red raw skin showing beneath. They attacked again, slower this time, both tiring. Tir-Axel was gaining the upper hand, being lighter and nimbler than Marl-Ti-Xeno. She was forcing him backwards, his blocks becoming more frantic and desperate. Finally his defences broke and with a quick spin of her blade, Tir-Axel had him disarmed, his lightsaber landing on the ground some metres away. Using the Force, she tripped him up and tossed him to the ground, pointing her sword at his face. An appraising and enthusiastic applause rippled round the crowd as she sheathed her blade, helping Marl to his feet, shaking his hand and congratulating him for the good fight. The sweating fighters turned to bow towards the Knights and retook their places in the line of teenagers.

The trials lasted a few more hours, but to me it flew past in a flurry of fast, impressive lightsaber duels. Obi-Wan-Kenobi had won his fight and he looked to be on impressive form. Eventually, the cauldron emptied of spheres, and the candidates were taken away for the selection process, which we were not allowed to attend. We were dismissed and given the rest of the day free. I knew that after the selection, a dance was thrown for the candidates and the Knights, in honour of the day. My friends and I spent the rest of the day talking almost non-stop about the phenomenal show of skill we had witnessed. By that evening, rumours were flying round about the selection process, two of which stuck out for me. Firstly, Obi-Wan-Kenobi had been accepted as Padawan by the illustrious Qui-Gon-Jinn and, secondly, that Master Jaida had not selected any Apprentice.

That night, Malachi and I returned to the dormitory late, having wanted to stay and talk with Shinobi and Yuth. We were still yapping on about the trials, attempting to recreate the more extraordinary manoeuvres we had seen, without swords of course. We went to bed in high spirits, laughing loudly at ourselves. I lay down in my bunk and, after my excited heart-rate had slowed, I floated into an easy sleep, dreaming about the trials.


	2. Trials and Tribulations

Star Wars Journals: Nathaniel's Tale

Chapter II: Trials and Tribulations

_There she was, after all these years. Her dark hair was showing streaks of silvery grey, her outline framed with light as she stood at the brow of a hill, facing away from me, into the soft red glow of the setting suns._

_"MUM!" I called out to her, no longer a day older than sixteen, but a six year old boy again. She turned, her smooth face wrinkled with age. Her face broke into a warm smile and she opened up her arms, beckoning me to her. I began to run toward her, my six year old legs pounding on the ground, pushing me forward as fast as they could carry me. I was closing in on my mum, ten metres, eight metres. I opened up my arms, preparing to fall into her tender, motherly embrace, four metres, two metres. I wrapped my arms around her, but instead of her comfort, I grasped at nothing but fresh air, passing through my mum as if she were a ghost. I stumbled and fell, landing hard on the course grass of the hill._

_I picked myself up and, to my bewilderment, the scenery had changed and I was sixteen again. One of the suns had vanished, its sibling now tainting the sky an angry red, hovering, half hidden beneath the horizon. I was now standing on a cliff edge, my feet inches from the drop. I peered over, and my eyes fell upon sharp rocks at the bottom of a cavernous fall. The sea was there, ferociously slapping against the rocks. I turned to face my mum, she, at least, was still there, her arms now by her side, comforting smile fading, mouth slowly curling into a malicious leer. Unsure how to act, I froze, watching my mother. My mouth fell open in horror as her skin began to peel away from around her skull. I was petrified with fear, my mind frantically searched for some reason for the disgusting sight before me. My mother's clothes had peeled away, revealing the mouldy grey of her skeletal ribs. Soon, all that was left of my mum was her skeleton, bits of dead flesh hanging uselessly from her bones, flapping uselessly in the wind. The empty eye sockets stared blankly at me, the jaw still twisted in a malevolent grin, the pungent odour of her rotting flesh filling my nostrils. The corpse began revolving on the spot, soon spinning in a blur of grey bones._

_The grey darkened, changing to a deathly black. The spinning slowed and I was left facing a Sith Lord, robed in black, lightsaber drawn, blade glowing a deep blood red. His long, wild black hair fell around his face, distorting his features, but I could see his eyes, his eyes were terrifying. They were yellow, ringed with fiery red, pupils pinpoints, glaring at me with hatred. My hand flew to my waist, groping in vain for my weapon and a means of defence. The Sith Lord attacked and there was nothing I could do, he plunged his blade between my ribs and buried it there. I felt nothing, no pain, no fear, nothing. I looked down and saw his black, gloved hand, gripped around the handle of his lightsaber, which was buried in my chest up to the hilt, its red blade no doubt protruding from my back. The mysterious warrior pulled his weapon out, leaving a gaping hole in my torso. He raised one hand and threw me backward with the Force, over the end of the cliff. His triumphant eyes, hate-filled and yellow, were the last things I saw before I plummeted downwards, head over heels towards the vicious rocks below. I watched as they rushed up to meet me, their sharp edges gleaming in anticipation of my soft flesh. The gap was closing alarmingly fast, I felt helpless, doomed to my fate. This was the end. I closed my eyes and waited…_

I awoke with a start, duvet soaked with cold sweat, cursing as I sat up too fast and cracked my head on the underside of the bunk above. I lay back down, pushing my sweaty duvet off me, allowing the cool air to wash over my body. Rubbing my forehead where it was throbbing, I thought through my nightmare. What had it meant? My mother had died years age and despite my promise to come see her, I had only visited her twice since I had left, ten years ago. Once had been on the tenth anniversary of my father's murder, and secondly had been with some neighbours and friends, mourning over her death. Her funeral had been a sombre affair, the attendees watching in silence, tears running down our faces as the flames had licked at her cold corpse. The ashes had been entrusted to me, who quickly ensured they were scattered alongside my father's.

My thoughts returned to my dream, the Sith Lord, in my mind's eye I could still see him, his wild, bloodthirsty eyes glowing from behind his untamed hair as I had tumbled to my doom. Unsure what to make of this nightmare, I swung out of bed, careful not to wake anyone up. When we had turned thirteen we had been moved into the older dormitory to make room for new children. The new dorm was arranged differently to the last, all the beds were in rooms of four, each room having its own bathroom. I shared my room with Malachi, Grep-Thi-Carco; an orange-skinned, three-eyed, well built seventeen year old and Serg-Lin, a humanoid with jet black skin.

I crept over to the bathroom, eyes heavy with sleep, blinking as the bathroom lights turned on automatically as I walked in. I hastily arranged my shoulder-length, wavy, dark brown hair into some semblance of tidy and splashed my face with cold water in an attempt to wake up my sluggish brain. I turned back to the bedroom, knowing I would be unable to get back to sleep. I sat down on my bed, below Malachi, and pulled out my notes on lightsaber techniques, beginning to study for the trials tomorrow. I was extremely nervous already, to the extent that just looking at my notes made me feel sick. I lay back on my bed and forced myself to relax, thinking how my powers had increased tenfold since I had arrived ten years ago. My lightsaber skills were better than Shmi-Gols, to his great dissatisfaction, and our abilities to manipulate the Force were on par with each other. Thinking about my success over the past ten years calmed me down, made me realise that I could get through the trials, hopefully with the result of myself becoming a Padawan to someone like Master Jaida.

My thoughts were interrupted when a head appeared at the side of my bed, hair hanging towards the ground. It was Malachi, dangling over the edge of his bunk.

"Morning." He said, stifling a yawn.

"All right?" I asked.

"Yea, not bad. I'm famished though, comin' for breakfast?" Good idea, I thought. I swung out of bed, and quickly donned my tunic, following him out the dorm quietly, so as not to wake Grep or Serj. We sauntered through the corridors, determined to relish our last day of freedom. A part of me felt sad. After tomorrow, I might never see any of my friends again; all things going well; I would be selected as a Padawan and be whisked away to some far corner of the universe.

Neither myself nor Malachi were very talkative in the morning, so the journey to the mess hall passed in silence. When we arrived I was surprised to find Shinobi already there, she had still been in her bed till midday recently, with the absence of classes. But today, she was staring absently at her food, her eyes looked heavy and her hair dishevelled. We grabbed some food from the table in the centre of the room and headed to sit next to her.

"Can't sleep?" She shook her head. I patted her sympathetically on the shoulder.

"Don't worry, it'll be fine, you know it will." She looked at me, her shoulder length, light brown hair was tied in a ponytail behind her head, an anxious smile playing across her face. Looking at her eyes, they were the only thing that hadn't changed since I'd first met her. They were still as pretty as ever, brightening up her entire face. The rest of her had grown up, turning her into a beautiful young woman. Her personality had matured, but she still knew how to have fun. We had become the best of friends since I had arrived, barring the awkward time when the girls had hit puberty before the boys, and she had thought me to be an immature, arrogant, asshole. But eventually the guys caught up and we became friends again. There was nothing about her I didn't know, and vice versa, we shared every secret. Many people thought we were "seeing each other", but it was forbidden, though I won't pretend there haven't been times where I've wondered…but it's forbidden, I won't let myself go there. I sat down beside her and the three of us sat in silence, eating away at our breakfast.

The weeks leading up to the trials had been fairly normal. Our classes had continued up until a week ago when Master Yoda had told us the format of the day and released us from classes. The trials were first, in the early morning. These were expected to go on until early afternoon. Following the trials we were to return to our dormitories and be ready for the selection process at midday. I had no idea what to expect at the selection process, but the fundamental idea was clear. After that there was a four hour gap until mid-evening, when a dance was thrown for us. This had been the subject of great embarrassment over recent days, rumours flying around about who was going with who. I had meant to ask Shinobi, but hadn't found the right moment to, always finding myself losing the power of speech or running out of confidence. I knew I should get a move on, but…but…well I don't really have an excuse. I'm just scared of what might happen, what it might mean. The week before the trials had seen the medical wing suddenly full of teenagers with nervous breakdowns, the medic giving them something for their nerves, some sleep aiding liquid and a bed to rest the night in.

Yuth joined us halfway through our breakfast, and, after she had finished, we headed to the archives. Though there was no test on our knowledge, the Knights were told of our performance in class and just in case they asked us anything, we figured it was best to study. The four of us sat in a darkened room, a map of the stars around us, naming planets and systems. Later on we were joined by my two roommates, Grep and Serj. We studied until lunchtime. We left the archives and headed to the mess hall again. The six of us walked in a line, talking about everything and anything when a voice called from behind us,

"Hey, M&N," it was Shmi-Gol and his cronies, great, "I hope I get one of you in the trials tomorrow, that way I'm guaranteed a place as a Padawan, don't you reckon?" I had grown too used to his snide comments, now they just bounced off me. Malachi, however, even after all these years still took every comment to heart.

"Wouldn't count on it, you arrogant bastard." He growled. I flashed Malachi a warning look and said,

"Let it go, mate, he isn't worth it."

"What's gotten you two so confident, eh?" Shmi-Gol taunted

"Nothing much," I replied casually, "but," I turned to Malachi, "go easy on him if you end up fighting him, you wouldn't want him to go crying to his mummy if you beat him." I grinned at Malachi, referring to an incident four years ago when Malachi had burst Shmi-Gol's nose for taunting him about his looks. Shmi-Gol's mum was high up in the Coruscant hierarchy, and had launched a complaint after Shmi-Gol had gone running to her. Malachi had gotten a sound telling off, despite his friends protection and constant reminders that he had been provoked.

"Yea, well at least I've got a mother Nats." He snarled back, face turning a nasty shade of puce. That struck a nerve hidden deep inside me and I felt anger, rage and hatred swell up inside me like a violent balloon. I struggled to remain in control of my emotions, not to give in to his provocation, but I couldn't. I threw myself at him. Shinobi stopped me, grabbing on to the back of my tunic, though not before I had caught the surprised look on Shmi-Gols face.

"Leave it." She hissed at me, eyes showing the same anger I had been about to let take over me. She turned to Shmi-Gol, "You bastard, just fuck off and leave us alone." She took my arm and led me away, Malachi and Yuth following behind us.

"Why do you let him get to you?" Shinobi asked me when Shmi-Gol and gang were out of earshot.

"Oh, come off it, Shinobi," Malachi answered for me, "that was uncalled for!"

"I know that was uncalled for," she shot back, "but since when has he ever played fair?"

"Still…" his voice trailed off, unsure how to answer. Shinobi rounded on him.

"STILL NOTHING!" She shouted, to everyone's surprise, "THAT NEEDN'T HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU COULD JUST HAVE KEPT YOUR STUPID MOUTH SHUT! CAN'T YOU JUST IGNORE IT?" Malachi's shocked face flushed an embarrassed and angry red. He turned around and stormed off up the corridor in a rage. Yuth, who had been very quiet, suddenly piped up,

"Well, now you've done it." She flashed a frustrated look at me and Shinobi and walked off after Malachi. An awkward silence fell between us. We walked down the corridor and I decided to let her talk first, that way she had had time to calm down.

"Sorry." She whispered timidly, breaking the silence.

"What for?" I asked, "If anything I should be thanking you, if you hadn't stopped me back there, I'd probably be packing my bags already, if I wasn't in hospital." She fell silent again. I realised for the first time that we were alone in the corridor and suddenly felt embarrassed, the cool stone walls becoming very interesting. Do it, I was telling myself, just ask her.

"Shinobi?" I began quietly. She looked at me, my eyes meeting her beautiful hazel ones, which sapped the little confidence I had out of me. I looked down at the floor, the plush red carpet under my feet catching my attention. I bit back my embarrassment and just said it,

"Er…it's the trials tomorrow, and I was wondering…if…if you'd like to…um…" I cast my eyes surreptitiously back up to hers and saw that she was suppressing a giggle.

"Of course I'll go with you," she answered, anticipating my question, "I'd love to." I grinned at her sheepishly, a funny flittering feeling filling my stomach and asked why she was laughing,

"Watching you struggle to ask me is what's funny." She answered, I blushed, "It's about time you asked, and I've been waiting for you to ask since we found out about the dance. I had to turn down Serj and Grep, hoping that you would ask me." She reached out and gave me a friendly hug, which I returned gratefully. I let out a nervous laugh, but it came out as a sigh of relief. We broke the embrace and she patted me on the shoulder.

That night I went to my bed late, unable to sleep. Malachi still wasn't talking to Shinobi, but, despite this, I felt happier than I had for the past week. I was going to the Padawan Dance with Shinobi! I grinned into my pillow and imagined what it would be like to dance with her, well I'd soon find out.

My consciousness groggily returned to me and I forced my eyes to open, quickly blinking them closed again as the room lights blinded me. I turned away from the lights and slowly reopened my sleepy eyes. I spun round again, rubbing the sleep from the corners of my eyes. Malachi was already up, as was Serj. Clambering out of bed I suddenly remembered it was the trials today and my legs turned to jelly, forcing me to sit back down on my bed.

"Yup, it's today mate." Serj said with an amused grin. I gave him a weak smile and stood up again. I quickly changed into my best tunic and tried to relax myself. I didn't feel much like eating; nevertheless the three of us left Grep sleeping and made our way to the mess hall.

Shinobi and Yuth were already at a table when we arrived. As we sat down the atmosphere turned icy cold as Shinobi flashed a disgruntled look at Malachi. We all sat looking at our food despondently, adventurously nibbling it and then trying to hold back the wave of nausea that followed. The minutes crawled by, the food in front of us vanishing crumb by crumb. Grep joined us fifteen minutes later, looking uneasy on his feet. He was barely halfway through his breakfast when a clicking sound from the door announced the arrival of Master Yoda. All head turned to him and he beckoned all the teenagers away from their half-eaten meals. Slowly, I rose out of my seat, fighting back the impulse to run away, hide in a dark corner of my dorm and rock back and forth.

The walk through the corridors of the Temple was a sombre affair, any outsider passing us would have thought us to be a funeral procession. No-one spoke. Nobody looked at anyone else. Everyone was concentrating on where they were walking, queasiness gripping our stomachs.

All too soon we reached the auditorium, which was decorated as it was ten years ago. We arrived through a different, smaller door than I had done as a Youngling ten years ago, the vast doors that marked the main entrance to the hall remained shut in the distance. Despite my nerves, I was still in awe at the size of the place, its farthest corners seeming to be miles away. Again, music whispered through the air from the other side of the hall. Master Yoda led us to the arena in the centre of the hall, lining us up around its edge. I glanced around at the stands, my stomach jumping as I remembered that people would be watching me fight, my gaze fell upon the stand that would hold the Knights. It was already full, the Jedi's eyes examining us impassively. I spotted Master Jaida and her eyes met mine, giving me a small smile. Suddenly the huge doors at the entrance to the hall swung open and the crowd began to file in, bubbling with noise, anticipation and excitement. It seemed a completely different world to the one I existed in at the moment, full of nerves and anxiety. Slowly the stands began to fill, the younglings eying us judiciously as they sat down. For my part, I avoided eye contact with anything that moved. Soon, the stands were full; brimming with eager chatter, until Master Windu stood up, then there was silence. The trials were beginning.

Yoda stood up next to Master Windu and lowered the cauldron as he had done ten years ago and began to mix up the contents of the bowl. Master Windu's speech was similar to the one he gave ten years ago,

"Each sphere contains a name of a candidate. Two names will be drawn together. When your name gets called," he turned to face us, his strong eyes passing over us. I felt sick, I didn't want to do this, but at the same time I felt a buzzing energy filling me up, getting caught by the atmosphere, "please come forward and dual your opponent. The lightsabers are set to stun and are in the wall. You should use any means appropriate of a Jedi to overcome your opponent. Good luck, let the trials begin."

One of the Knights rose from her seat in the stands and pointed an arm towards the glowing cauldron. One of the spheres stopped dead and levitated out of the bowl. It imploded and Malachi's name shone in bright flames above the crowds. I turned to look at him but he didn't, or perhaps couldn't, look back. His eyes were wide with shock, face turning grey as he stepped forwards into the arena. He quickly summoned a lightsaber from the wall and took a deep, calming breath. Another Jedi Knight stood, and another name appeared above the cauldron, imploding as the last one had. One of Shmi-Gol's cronies stepped forward as his name, wreathed in flames, extinguished itself. Another lightsaber flew through the air and landed in his hand.

The unmistakable buzz of the swords filled the air, breaking the rapt silence coming from the audience as it held its collective breath. I watched Malachi closely, noticing that his hands were shaking, his knuckles white as he gripped his weapons hilt. The warriors circled each other, waiting for an opening. Suddenly, they attacked, swords clashing as they met, repelling each other.

Malachi quickly regained his footing and was on the attack, blade whizzing through the air, his blows being parried by his opponent. I didn't dare to blink for fear of missing a vital moment in the fight. Malachi was still attacking, forcing his enemy backward, towards the edge of the arena. Malachi's blade pushed his opponents aside and quickly slammed down into an exposed arm, sending its owner rolling to the ground, wounded, but not defeated.

Rubbing his arm, Shmi-Gol's friend stood up again, blade once again ready. Malachi was on the attack again, but this time, his enemy was ready for him, quickly side-stepping and knocking Malachi's blade from his hand. I drew in a quick breath, silently willing Malachi to keep fighting. Malachi quickly jumped back to avoid the blade swinging towards his torso, before rolling across the ground to reclaim his weapon. His opponent was quick in forcing him back, Malachi using every ounce of his power to defend against the glowing blade. He swung his blade from side to side, parrying, blocking and desperately trying to regain the advantage in the fight.

The battle had the audience's full attention as Malachi began to fight back, his powerful parries knocking his opponent off guard. They swung at each other, swords meeting in the middle, pushing against each other, willing the other to back down. They bounced off each other, stepping back a few paces. Suddenly, Malachi used an unexpected tactic. He threw himself to the ground, kicking out at his opponent's legs as he slid across the ground. His opponent, taken aback, hit the deck hard, weapon slipping from his hand and Malachi was back up like a flash, sword pointed at the fallen boys face. The audience began to clap, quickly escalating into an ovation for the unorthodox tactics. Malachi helped his rival up off the ground, shook his hand and then they both turned and bowed to the Knights before leaving the arena.

One of the Jedi Knights stood up and silence filled the hall. All eyes moved to the cauldron again, as one of the spheres stopped dead again and rose out of the belly of the cauldron. It imploded revealing the name within, covered by flames. Shmi-Gol. He stepped forward, not looking his usual, arrogant self. I drew in a deep breath, dreading to think of what would come next, I had began to think of it as inevitable that I would be drawn against him. The flames died, and another name began its ascent out of the cauldron. I was transfixed on the globe as it burst into flames and, as I had feared, revealed my name.

I closed my eyes for a few seconds, trying to get a grip of my emotions, trying to calm myself down. I stepped forward, slowly, determined to keep my balance as my legs turned to jelly. I glanced at Shmi-Gol, but for the first time ever, he didn't return my look, his eyes fixed on something interesting on the ground. I quickly summoned a weapon towards me, catching it as it flew across the hall into my hand. There was a hum as my blade unsheathed itself and I readied myself to fight.

Shmi-Gol was quickly on the offensive, his blade whizzing through the air towards my neck. I moved quickly to block and pushed off him, leaping backwards as I did so. I steadied myself and watched as he ran at me again. I spun to the left and stuck out my right foot as he reached me, tripping him. He stumbled, but didn't fall over; though it gained me the few seconds I needed to start an attack. I pushed myself forward and jumped high through the air, blade swinging in a downward arc towards Shmi-Gol, who was just turning round, recovering from my trip.

He was fast in parrying my blow, the shock of our blades meeting travelling up my arms. He pushed me to one side, knocking me to the ground. I rolled over a couple of times before jumping to my feet again, preparing to defend myself. I parried a blow aimed at my leg, and then another intended for my arm. His attacks were furious, relentless and determined. I was using all my concentration to stop him breaking through my defences. I swung my blade up in an attempted uppercut that forced Shmi-Gol to jump backwards to avoid it. He quickly began to attack again though. As his blade was swinging towards my right arm, I leapt in the air, somersaulting over him, twisting to avoid his glowing weapon. As I flew over his head I struck out with my sword, catching him on the shoulder, sending him spinning to the ground. I landed gracefully and turned to face my fallen opponent. He was still on the ground and I sensed my opportunity to finish my fight now.

I ran towards him, ready to claim my victory. As I reached him he spun his legs round and lashed out, connecting with the side of my knee. My leg buckled from his kick and my knee hit the ground. I rolled away as his blade rushed past my face, getting back to my feet. We circled each other for a few seconds, sweat dripping from our foreheads, lungs desperately trying to get a decent breath. I waited for him to make the next move, not wanting to leave myself open to a quick counterattack.

Suddenly, Shmi-Gol jerked his arm and threw his weapon, blade first, towards my face. I bent over backwards to evade his javelin, gasping as a searing pain travelled through my arm as the blade sliced into the flesh on my shoulder. I straightened up again, but, I had been so focussed on avoiding his sword that I hadn't sensed him charging towards me. He crashed into me, his full weight behind the attack, pounding into me, forcing all the air out of my lungs. I hit the floor hard. I lay still for a few seconds, recovering from the thumping I had received, gasping for breath. Shmi-Gol summoned his weapon to him, a triumphant smile flashing across his face. He brought his blade, down towards my face, but I wasn't finished yet. I still had one trick up my sleeve.

As his blade came crashing down towards me, I used every ounce of strength I had to swing my sword across my body to parry. Knocking his blade to one side, I hooked my legs underneath him and used my hands to do a backwards roll, sending him flipping over my head. I caught the look of shock on his face as he flew through the air. I was quickly up onto my feet as he came crashing down onto the floor. He lost his grip on his weapon and it rolled away from him. I brought my sword down towards him and pointed it in his face, sealing victory for myself.

I sheathed my blade as the audience broke out into frivolous applause. I extended a hand to Shmi-Gol, who ignored it, fury bubbling in his eyes. I rubbed my shoulder where he had cut into it, wincing as pain shot up my arm, noticing my blood on my hand. He picked himself up and we both turned to bow to the Masters. I fought to keep a huge grin off my face as we left the arena. I caught Shinobi's eyes as I left the arena, and she winked at me. I mouthed good luck to her and left by the same door we had arrived through earlier. As I walked through this door, there was another room on the right, which I hadn't noticed before. I entered it and there was Malachi, sitting in a corner, waiting patiently.

He turned to look at me as I entered the room and I let the grin take over my face. He beamed back at me, and I sat down next to him. Shmi-Gol had entered the room behind me and, throwing me a look that was full of hatred, went to sit with his friend on the other side of the room. Malachi and I sat in silence for a few seconds, before he asked me about my fight. I began to relive it, enjoying every second.

Slowly but surely the room filled up with potential Padawans, and the noise level rose, the air filled with excited chatter as everyone was talking about what had happened out in the arena. Myself and Malachi were joined by Yuth, Grep and Serj, but no Shinobi yet. Yuth had won her fight, but both Grep and Serj had been narrowly beaten. The door opened once more and Shinobi waltzed into the room. I turned to look at her, getting lost in her gaze as her face broke into a dazzling smile that lit up her face. I grinned back and gave her a hug as she reached me. She sat down next to us all and we all stared at her expectantly. She started talking, but the door opened again and Master Yoda appeared,

"To your rooms, you must return." He announced, "Collect you, I will, for the selection." The room emptied, and we all went our separate ways. Once we were back in our dorm, I went for a shower, welcoming the hot water as it trickled down my body, cleansing away the stresses of the morning, the deep cut on my shoulder still throbbing gently. Once I had finished, I turned off the shower, dried myself, dressed and attempted to tidy up my hair, its long waves refusing to go where I wanted them to. Eventually I gave up and went to sit on my bed, joining in the conversation of my friends. There was a knock at the door and Master Windu was there, telling us it was time to go. The four of us leapt to our feet and followed him out of the room. He led us to a small room on the third floor of the temple. It was a room I'd never saw before, but then, the Temple was that big that I'd probably been in less than half of them. Most of the others were there, we were still waiting on some. Shinobi and Yuth were together at the far end of the room. We joined them and sunk into conversation.

"What do you reckon this will be like?" Yuth asked, her voice smooth and soft. Everyone just shrugged, nobody really knew what to expect from the selection. Behind us, the door opened again, and the last of our group joined us. Master Yoda appeared at the door and beckoned us after him.

After a five minute traipse across the Temple, that was completely different from our journey to the trials this morning, we arrived at a large room, again one in which I had never been before. He opened the door and motioned for us to stay. We waited outside while Yoda hobbled into the room. We could hear voices on the other side of the door, though nobody knew what was being said. Suddenly the door opened again and we were all gestured into the room. We were told to stand around the curved edge of a red semi-circle in the middle of the floor. There was no-one else in the room but us and Master Yoda; whoever he was talking to was gone now. Once we had taken our places around the edge of the semi-circle I got a chance to have a proper look around. The room was built of grey stone; the intricate detail carved into it was continuous around the perimeter and up to the high ceiling. It was perfectly square and along one wall was a couple of rows of seats, made from a dark metal, this, presumably, would be where the Knights would be seated. Yoda began to speak, diverting my attention from the décor of the room,

"Remain where you are, until the Jedi Knights arrive. Bow to them, you will." He pulled out a holographic projector from his cloak, "Each of your names, in here, they are. When your name is called, step forward, you must, and await selection, you will." Master Windu entered the room from a door behind the rows of elaborate chairs. He whispered something in Yoda's pointed ear, to which Yoda nodded and left the room. Master Windu took over the speaking,

"The Knights have discussed your performance and have reached a decision on who is to be taken as a Padawan. You will respect this decision. If you are selected please go through this door with your Master and you will be formally accepted as their Padawan." He finished speaking and left the room again. We were left waiting for a couple of minutes during which nobody moved and nobody talked. Then the door opened again and the Knights slipped into the chairs in front of us. The atmosphere in the room intensified as the Knights finished filing into the room. Yoda followed them into the room again and closed the door behind him.

He still had the projector in his hand. He switched it on and placed it in the centre of the room. A holograph appeared, a small creature, with four arms. In its sallow skinned claws, it clutched a scroll, old and yellowed, curling at the corners. It cleared its throat, a tiny sound against the vastness of the chamber, and began to speak.

"Diyu-Ki-Posj." A deep booming voice filled the room and caused us all to jump in shock, such a large noise from such a small creature, especially compared to when it had cleared its throat a few seconds ago. The creature just stared at us blankly, clearly at a loss to what had caused us to get a fright. So shocked by this apparition's huge voice, all the would-be-Padawans had forgotten what to do. The creature opened its tiny mouth to speak again, its dulcet tones reverberating round the room,

"Absent?" It asked, "oh well then, next…" there was a pause as the creature's beady eyes roamed the scroll clutched in its claws. Diyu stepped forward quickly to correct it.

"No, sorry, I'm here," unsure how to address the holograph, she added as an afterthought, "sir." The creature made its annoyance clear with a disgruntled look in Diyu's direction.

"Please pay attention, I'm in rather a hurry, I've got to get back to my loomut bath." A bemused look passed over everyone's face. No-one asked what a loomut bath was, no-one really wanted to know.

"Anyway, moving on." The creature fizzed out of existence, leaving Diyu alone in the centre of the room, facing the Jedi Knights. She stared at a piece of wall behind the Knights, not wanting to look them in the eye.

One of the Jedi in the chairs stood, looked at Diyu and spoke in a soft, smooth voice,

"I." That was it. One word and a look of relief spread across Diyu's face, which was the picture of someone who had just been released from Death Row. She began to walk towards the exit of the chamber, following her new Master. The holograph materialized again and the small creature was looking at its scroll again, announcing the next of our group to be taken away.

Four people later, I had begun to feel distinctly uncomfortable, pessimistic thoughts creeping in from the corner of my brain. _What if I'm not selected, what then?_ I forced the thoughts out my head. So far only Serj had been picked from my friends, Shinobi, Grep, Yuth and I were still standing here, waiting. Much to my annoyance, Shmi-Gol had been picked by Master Fiy-Ort, the smug look he had flashed me when his name was called was a constant reminder that I was still waiting.

Grep was next to go, the creature summoning him forward to be chosen by a Jedi I didn't recognise, tall with wrinkled, ochre skin. As the pair left the room, I wondered what actually happened to the ones who were left behind, who didn't get chosen, it wasn't something that I particularly wanted to think about. My musing was interrupted when I realised that the host of our little soiree was back, announcing the next victim to face the metaphorical firing-squad.

"Nathaniel Illuminoi." My name rang round the room, freezing my brain. I forced my legs to carry me forward, singling myself out from the crowd. The creature in front of me looked at me, nodded and ticked my name off its list, before vanishing again.

I gazed out at the congregation of Knights, desperately hiding the commotion going on behind my eyes, the turmoil of emotions running through me, adrenaline, fear and anxiety all at once. There was silence. It refused to be filled, no-one stood, no-one spoke up. I began to notice some of the Knights staring daggers at each other, Master Jaida being the recipient of most of them. I couldn't stand the silence anymore, I opened my mouth to say something, anything, when Master Jaida rose to her feet and said that word, just one letter that shaped my future.

"I."

A huge weight lifted from my mind as I left the room with Master Jaida at my side, not wanting to break the silence in the room. I chanced a look behind me as I left, seeing the holograph burst back into life and become the focus of the remaining people in the room.

I followed Master Jaida into the next room, which gave the distinct impression of being an antechamber. We waited. Master Jaida filled the silence.

"I had some competition for you," she said in her rumbling voice, giving me a reassuring smile, "some of the others were very keen on you." I grinned at this news, it gave me confidence.

A door out of the antechamber opened up and Master Windu let us through into a chamber which stank of incense, and had very little light. At the far end of the room was a podium of sorts, which Master Windu walked towards, leading across the soft red carpet underfoot. Master Windu made his way up to the podium and stood behind it, placing his hands on the dark wood of its surface. I stood next to Master Jaida in front of the podium and watched Master Windu. His dark, beady eyes moved between myself and my new Master as he addresses us.

"Master Jaida, in taking this boy to be your Padawan you accept your responsibility to pass on your learning to him and to train him in the noble arts of the Jedi." Master Jaida nodded her acknowledgment, and Master Windu turned to face me.

"Nathaniel, you came to the Temple as a young boy, you have grown up here, now it is time for you to move on. In becoming a Padawan, you recognize your duty to obey your Master and to learn from her." I nodded as well, the formality of the occasion rather bemusing me. Master Windu thanked us and let us move out of the room, as he moved towards the entrance, going to let the next pair in.

We left the room and found ourselves in a corridor of the Temple, not far from my dorm. Master Jaida turned to look at me.

"Lesson one, stay in control of your emotions or they will betray you Nathaniel," I figured she was referring to the nerves which had been oozing from my body during the selection and nodded, "now, I believe you've to go back to your dormitory until tonight, so I'll see you there." I smiled up at her, and began to walk away. I stopped suddenly and turned around,

"Master!" I shouted after her and she stopped, turning to face me. "Thanks." I smiled at her again, my voice full of respect and gratitude. I began to walk away again, turning in the corridor and walking towards my dorm.

As I walked through the temple I thought about the day I'd had. I'd successfully got through the trials, been selected as a Padawan and now I was going to get ready to go to the dance with Shinobi. It had been quite a day. As I got closer to my dorm, I heard footsteps approaching from a side-corridor. As I reached the side corridor, I glanced down it and there was Shmi-Gol and a bunch of his idiotic followers. I kept on walking, determined to avoid any confrontation, but of course, Shmi-Gol's pride was battered by my victory this morning. A couple of his cronies fell into step with me, one on either side, another raced in front of me, walking backwards to face me. They stopped, but I tried to keep on walking, colliding with the burly boy ahead of me, and then being blocked by the others at my flanks. I forced myself not to panic, to stay in control. Shmi-Gol walked up behind me, arrogantly swaggering in a circle around me. I didn't look at him, just waited.

Suddenly he placed his hand on my shoulder, where his sword had left a stinging wound, and he pushed his fingers into it. I nearly blacked out as pain shot ferociously through my body, causing me to fall to my knees. He walked around in front of me and said something, his malicious voice distorted by the pain ringing in my ears. I refused to cry out, to give him that satisfaction. He removed his fingers from my shoulder and I instinctively knew that it had started bleeding again. Shmi-Gol now decided it would be fun to drive his knee into my stomach, forcing the air out of me, sending even more agony coursing round my body. I struggled to draw breath as Shmi-Gol took one finger, placed it on my forehead and lightly pushed me over backward, sending me sprawling to the floor. I saw black mist start to cloud my vision, heard the gangs evil laughter as they began to walk away, and passed out.

When I came to, I was in my dorm, my friends peering over me, concerned looks on their faces. I groaned slightly as I sat up.

"You ok?" I was asked, to which I simply nodded. There was still a couple of hours before the ball was meant to start, so I got out of bed, had a shower and got dressed in my tunic which had been specially bought for the occasion, a few days earlier. It was a deep blue with a dragon design sprawling across the chest. As I entered the room again I noticed that my friends were looking at me as if I was about to do something spectacular. I reassured them the I was fine and sat on my bed. There was still a gnawing pain in my stomach. I lay back on my bed and let the time pass.

Before I knew it I was waiting nervously by the girls dorm with a crowd of other guys, all waiting for our partners. I fidgeted with my fingers, with my hair, with my tunic, trying to contain my nerves. Suddenly the doors opened and the girls started to file out. I looked at the stream of dressed up females, watching for my Shinobi. There she was, she looked gorgeous. Her usually thin hair had been made poker straight, falling down below her shoulders. She had left one little section to fall down loosely down the left side of her face, so deliberately placed that it looked accidental. The pale pink gown she wore fitted her perfectly, hugging her body just tightly enough to be sexy, but not suggestive. The gown was longer on the left side than down the right, showing off more of one leg than the other. It was tied round the waist with a thin piece of white material, and fastened around her neck, rather than shoulder straps. It left her smooth back exposed, with the exception of a few straps to hold it in place. Her face was a deeper tone than normal, and her eyes shone with beauty, she knew how fantastic she looked.

I picked my jaw up off the floor, and offered her my arm.

"Wow," I said, "you look spectacular." I grinned, unable to take my eyes off her.

"Thanks," she answered, without blushing, "you don't look too bad yourself." I laughed and she took my arm, linking hers through. We walked through the temple, following the crowd of couples. We arrived at the hall where we had fought earlier in the day. It couldn't have looked different. Gone were the stands, the banners and the arena. In their place were tables, lining the outside of the hall, each table covered with a flawless white table cloth, food scattered along the lengths. The centre of the vast hall was empty, and the walls were decorated with multi-coloured lights that illuminated the dance floor, changing colours occasionally, from blues, to reds, greens, yellows, purples and back to blues. At the far end was a stage, where there was a 4 piece band, warming up their instruments as we entered the hall.

We were all directed to the tables, where Shinobi and I found a pair of seats next to Malachi and Yuth. When everyone was seated, Master Yoda, who was seated at the head table, stood up to address us all.

"To the ball, welcome. Worked hard you have, to get here. To the ones who will be leaving us, goodbye, this is. The food, please enjoy." He sat down again and everyone took this as a sign to start eating. An excited chatter filled the air and the band started playing quietly to keep us entertained whilst we ate. I tucked into the delicious looking food in front of me, as did my friends.

When we had all eaten our fill, and the food had been cleared away. The band began to play louder, starting a slow waltz, and some couples got up to dance. I stood up and offered my hand to Shinobi, meeting her pretty hazel eyes. She giggled and stood up to take my hand. We made our way onto the dance floor, and took our place in between the rotating dancers. I placed one of my hands on her waist, and the other found her hand. I felt incredibly awkward. Her spare hand rested on my shoulder and we began to dance. I focussed on where I was placing my feet, determined not to tread on her feet. I found myself getting lost in her eyes, making me feel more at ease with my dancing. I noticed that Shmi-Gol and his friends were pointing and laughing, but found that I didn't care, I wasn't going to let anything ruin this for Shinobi or myself. I grew in confidence as the song progressed, and we were swaying together and turning our way round the dance floor. I found myself enjoying it, much to my surprise. The dance floor was filling up quickly now, couples encouraged by the one's already dancing. The song came to an end and everyone clapped. We sat back down, watching Malachi dancing with Yuth.

The night drifted past in a blur of dancing and talking. It was late and a few couples had started to leave. My friends and I were still there, dancing and enjoying the calmer atmosphere. The band had been a huge success, playing a well performed mixture of slow dancing songs, and more upbeat songs, but they were getting to the end of their set. They began to play a slow song, and the few couples that remained got up to dance. This time I put both my hands round Shinobi's waist, holding her closer than before. Both her arms found their way round my neck and her head rested softly against my shoulder as we slowly swayed from side to side. I suddenly felt a huge sadness descend on me, as I realised that this time tomorrow we'd all be away to some far regions of the universe. I felt my eyes sting with tears and I bit them back, determined not to cry. We continued to dance as the song drew to its end and we smiled at each other.

We decided to leave the hall. Shinobi and I walked around the corridors until we reached the exit to the temple. We stepped outside, enjoying the cool night air whispering past our faces. We stood next to each other, gazing out at the buildings, shrouded in night-time. She turned to me, and I turned to her, a solemn moment. She started to speak.

"I had a really good night, thanks." I smiled at her

"Me too." I replied. She opened her mouth to speak again,

"Nathaniel…" Her voice trailed away, but I knew what she had been going to say.

"I know, I don't know when I'll see you again. I'll miss you too." Something was happening to me, I felt a funny aching in my heart. It hurt to say that. Shinobi's pretty hazel eyes were glassy as a single tear rolled down her cheek, followed by another. My eyes filled up too and the tears began to flow down my face. I pulled her into me and hugged her tight. We sobbed into each other, finding comfort in each others embrace.

Once our tears had dried up, leaving our eyes red and noses sniffling, we began to separate from our hug. As she pulled away, our noses brushed together, my whole world revolved around her, her cool breath against my face, her deep eyes staring into mine. The moment stretched out, and then before I could react, she kissed me. Her lips pressed into mine quickly before pulling away again. She had a look on her face that suggested she didn't know what had just happened, and then I was kissing her back. I pulled her in close and placed my mouth against her soft lips. Her arms went round my waist and my hands found the sides of her face. Our lips parted and we kissed more passionately than before, falling into each others kisses. Her sweet scent filled my nostrils, her hair running through my fingers, her body pressed up to mine. Something was going on inside me, a funny feeling flowing through my body, from my fingertips and toes up to my heart. A sort of electricity that made my heart soar. It made me feel alive, more so than ever before. I felt the Force surround us, its energy bringing us closer together, baring our souls to each other. We were in love.

I lay in my bed later that night, tears staining the pillow, my sobs racking through my whole body. I had never experienced such a muddle of emotions before. I was in love with Shinobi, and she was in love with me. But tomorrow we would be ripped away from each other. Knowing what could have been was the worst thing in the world. Knowing that we could have had a future together was soul-destroying. I couldn't stand it.

I eventually dozed off to sleep that night. I'd calmed myself down by remembering something. I remembered the moment of absolute clarity when we were kissing. The moment when I realised something. When I realised that we were in love.


End file.
